Longing....

About this time of year I find myself longing, yearning, thinking, daydreaming and wanting a little slice of our life in Savannah. I have asked myself many times why I have this longing? Sometimes on days where the sun trickles in through my windows I instantly go back to my chair that I would sit at near my window in Savannah looking outside at the moss hanging from those gorgeous oak trees that I love so much. Sometimes I can even smell Savannah, yes it has its own smell, thick air, the warm sun on the swamp that surrounds the “the little southern city” we called home. The bug’s buzzing in the evening when I would sit with my girlfriends at night have a glass of wine or sweet tea, visit, catch up and watch our little brood of kiddos playing with sidewalk chalk and hoses with water trickling out on our drives. The sun setting to the west of our home behind the thick moss layered trees. I long for the day’s Ryan would come home with his uniform on, we would sit on our back patio catch up on what his next training or deployment would be and watch Madi play on her play structure. The lightening at night, the rumble of thunder  as I would read on the couch with my love sitting next to me.  Days of sitting by the pool with my friends, our morning walks with kids in strollers, afternoon’s calling each other  trying to figure out who was making the best meal and eating together.  Ryan and I every Saturday morning going to our “favorite” breakfast spot  Clary’s Cafe on one of the famous squares in downtown and playing in the park with our sweet Madi afterward. Even the sad moments loosing our baby girl, moving into a house we built with my love at war, not knowing when he would return. Those long deployments, long nights and training’s our soldiers and the wives endure. I know one of the things I miss is our “Army Family” the closeness, the intimacy of how our lives and how they are inner twined, going on post seeing families who are experiencing the same trials and hardships you are, watching my husband lead his soldiers and his love for our country.  Even those teary moments at the company headquarters when I would say good bye for months and sometimes a year or more to my love. The part of our life that was just “us” we only had each other, Ryan and I were doing “Army life” together 3000 miles away from our hometown. We were it! For some reason every year at this time my heart and mind go back to those memories, the unknown, joyous, exciting, sad and scary times. I miss them, I really do, I think I always will. So on this night as I write about this, I have a vivid video in my head of all the people, places, smells and experiences that we had in our wonderful life in Savannah. Oh how I long to be there again for just a little while and I feel so blessed by all those experiences that God brought us through. Ryan and I ask each other often why we go back to that sweet time in our minds and hearts, were not totally sure but it changed us and we often say even though it was some of the hardest years of our life it was some the best as well.